One of the pieces of advice that my therapist at the clinic gave me was to start a Journal of Happiness. A little journey where, at the end of each day, I’d write down three things, no matter how small, that made me happy that day. His idea was for me to start seeing the small things in my life that are good instead of only focusing on the big stuff and ultimately feeling deprived because it takes so much longer to achieve something big. If you ever achieve it as a perfectionist.
I tend to be very analytical, detached from emotions – especially my own. I tend to think in black and white and only be kind to myself if I achieved something good that I deem worthy of pride and happiness.
This is complete bullshit. Of course. Part of me knows this, but my therapist was right in seeing that I have a hard time living it.
I have to admit that I’ve fallen back into some bad habits ever since I came back from the clinic. I stopped drawing regularly. I never went to find a choir. I’m in danger of letting myself be caught up in a job I don’t enjoy because I’m scared of the consequences if I change. I stopped writing my daily journal of happiness.
I want to change this again. I want to start small. While maybe a daily journal is not feasible with my schedule right now, at least I want to write a weekly recap of persons, moments and things that have made me happy and that I’m grateful for. Each week. To remind myself that despite my struggles, I am privileged and I lead a life to be grateful for.
So, without further ado, here’s my list for week 1:
- I’m grateful for my friend Sylvie, who asked me and another friend at the box whether she should place a group order for a pair of pants we had all admired on one of our coaches. Yay for new pants!
- I’m happy about the conversation I had with one of our Managing Directors at work earlier this week. I’m in dire need of a career change because my current role is making me miserable. I’ve been signalized that I can change within my organization, which is what I want. But after a few frustrating conversations, I’ve not had a clearer understanding of what a new role could look like. Last week, I had, for the first time, the impression that I’m being heard, I’m being listened to and there is actually someone who cares about me and my future at the company.
- That said, I’m excited about what a new role could potentially look like because I’d be doing a lot more of what I actually enjoy doing and a lot less of all that stuff that I dislike.
- I’m happy that my CrossFit workout on Thursday was so great. It was 5 RTF of 10 power cleans and 15 wallballs. Timecap 20 minutes. I finished in 10. I usually struggle with wallballs. They’re one of my least favorite movements. But on Thursday I found a good rhythm, stuck to it and managed to also mentally pull through and keep cranking out reps even as I hurt.
- I was invited to two really cool business events for the upcoming weeks: next week we’re getting a beauty treatment (facial and manicure) and then at the end of August we’re invited at a BBQ event at the Weber Grill Academy.
- The weather God was kind to me on Saturday night. After watching the CrossFit Games at the box with a couple of friends, two of my friends offered to drive me home, so I didn’t have to bike for 35 minutes in the night. We weren’t in the car for long when the sky opened up and it rained buckets. Happy I wasn’t caught in that downpour.
- Given the horrible events in Munich on Friday, I’m grateful I was with my closest friends as it happened, immediately knowing they were safe.
- I’m grateful for Apple’s Find My iPhone function through iCloud. I dropped my phone in my friends’ car as I rushed out during the heavy rain. I panicked for a bit when I noticed I couldn’t find it, but checking Apple’s website and seeing it located at my friends’ address put my mind at ease.
- My run on Sunday was good. 13 kilometers at a casual pace, no pain for once.
- I’m really excited about my lemon tree getting its act together. It didn’t like being inside for the winter, throwing off leaves more quickly than I could pick them up from the floor. Ever since I’ve moved it outside for the summer, it not only stopped losing leaves, but actually grew new ones. And it’s currently in bloom.